Divorce happens, but we’re not talking about yours! Often either the bride or groom’s parents have divorced, leaving the happy couple wondering how to manage them on their wedding day. But organising your divorced parents at your wedding does not have to be the nightmare it could. With some thoughtful planning and careful communication, your wedding day will be drama free.
Dealing with Divorced Parents at Your Wedding
If your parents are divorced and are not on good terms, chances are eloping sounds great about now! There are plenty of heart breaking stories about divorced couples fighting or being nasty to each other at their child’s wedding. As a bride to be, the last thing you want is your wedding remembered for your parent’s negative antics to one another. Thankfully it is possible to have a stress-free ceremony and reception, even with divorced parents at your wedding.
Before your wedding, consider these points:
• Who is going to walk you down the aisle? Dad, stepdad, both parents?
It is the bride’s choice who she wants to walk her down the aisle. If her stepdad raised her, then it is perfectly fine he gets the job. If she only wants her Mum, that is fine too.
• Where will you seat your parents at your ceremony and reception?
Do you want to have a traditional or formal seating plan? Or are you letting your guests choose where they want to sit? During your ceremony, your parents do not need to sit together or even in the same area, even though wedding etiquette says that mother should be in the row in front of the father. At your reception, it is probably not a good idea to put them together at the head table. Instead put each parent at their own table with their own friends.
• Who is going to make the toast for the bride and groom?
It is the father who traditionally toasts first at a wedding. You could avoid any awkwardness between dads and stepdads by asking the best man make the first toast instead.
Organising Wedding Photos with Your Divorced Parents
When it comes to organising the wedding photos you want taken, communication is key. Yes, it is your wedding, but your divorced parents don’t have to be in a photo together if they don’t want to be.
The best thing is to sit down with both of your parents together or separately and share with them your photo plans. If everyone can agree before your wedding day, things will flow much smoother.It is also a good idea to let your wedding photographer know about your parent’s wishes too. In formal wedding photos, you can say no to having casual or new partners in them. It is also okay for step parents to be in some, but not all photos too.
Preventing drama from divorced parents at your wedding is far easier than handling it! By having told your parents of your wishes beforehand, there will be no awkward surprises to deal with! Remember though, the choices you make on your wedding day do set the tone for future relationships.