You never get a break from it. When you’re single, it’s “when are you getting a boyfriend?”. Once you find a man, it’s either “when are you settling down” or “when is he going to propose?”. And then, when he finally does pop the question, everyone starts bugging you for a wedding date. But none of this nagging prepares you for the rudest question you’ll get once married: “when are you having a baby, huh?”
“When are you having a baby then?”
I know I’m not alone in thinking this is rude. This post from Offbeat Home laments the intrusive nature of this question (especially as the question-asker is having a hard time conceiving). I wonder why society thinks it is okay to question females about their sex lives?!
I get that marriage can often mean babies for some couples, but for others children might be a few years away, or not on the cards at all. It’s a taboo question to ask females in general – for me, I seem to get asked a lot by rude semi-acquaintances who glance at my stomach and decide that my cheese rolls and mochaccino for morning tea put me at about 4 months gone!
So, this just might be me, but I find it incredibly rude that some dim witted wedding guests feel comfortable with asking the bride on her wedding day: “So, when are you having a baby then?” (followed by a not-so-subtle glance down at your stomach). Part of the reason this comes across so poorly on someone’s wedding day is it’s like – hold your horses, we only *just* said “I Do”! Why are people so happy to rush us through our milestones, not just be happy for where we are in our lives. Continuously looking ahead to the future on our behalf, freaking you out that you’re not doing enough, can’t be happy with where you are. Ugh.
So if you’re looking for conversation with a bride on her wedding day, instead of asking “when are you going to start trying for a baby”, perhaps ask a bride one of the following:
- Wow your dress is gorgeous, where did you get it?
- Are you looking forward to a honeymoon?
- You look stunning, have you had a wonderful day?
- Have you tried the nibbles? They’re delicious, can I get you a couple?
Have you had people asking you this?
So is it just me that thinks this is really rude, or were you asked and okay with it? Let me know in the comments below.