“It’s your day” – it’s rubbish advice.

terrible-wedding-advice

When people trot out the “it’s your day, do what you want” line… I roll my eyes.

Seriously.

“It’s your day”. Oh fuck, I had no idea. Thanks for the heads up!

No piece of “advice” is trotted out so often and so readily as this overused, cliche platitude. Do you think the person asking the question that you’re answering with that help doesn’t know that it’s their day?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m trying not to be (too) harsh here. I don’t hate it because it isn’t true. Of course it is. No two people are more essential to the wedding than the couple getting married.

The reason for my “it’s your day” cynicism, is that most brides *know* that it is their day, and they *know* they should do what they want. But they still fret about keeping other people happy. Usually for the wrong reasons.

The purpose of the questions on wedding etiquette, Google searches and devouring of Southern Bride is clear – brides (and their partners) don’t want the day to just be about them. Sure, it’s about celebrating their love! But they want their family and friends to celebrate with them. Making their friends and family happy is what makes couples happy. If they didn’t give a hoot, they’d probably have eloped and spent the $25,000 on a fancy-as holiday and new shoes (just me?).

In the process of making their friends and family happy, they find themselves  stressed and overwhelmed (let’s be real here – it’s usually the bride). The whole process becomes convoluted and the couple start overthinking things (what happens if I use teal instead of aquamarine? is it going to throw the balance of my centerpieces off?!!)… Eventually, this leads to you, your partner, and possibly friends resenting the wedding, and just wanting it over with. Not cool.

So how do you balance making the wedding all “your day” without becoming stressed out, self-centered or verging on a bridezilla-style tantrum? Check out some of the tips below from Southern Bride readers on how they got through the wedding planning overwhelm. I promise, there is no “It’s your day…” dribble below.

 

Take advice from as many places/people as you can. Don’t worry too much about Centrepieces, RSVPs & a Photo Booth.

 

Take time off from planning, I would work shift work come home and plan, sleep, work, plan, eat, sleep.. Gets too consuming, the more I planned the more I got overwhelmed which lead to stress, take a day off every now and then

 

Just be really relaxed about the whole thing. I wish I had spent more money on my frock.

 

Just relax – things will go wrong but there is always an alternative solution! And don’t fret about the weather!

 

Don’t listen to anyone else or let anyone pressure you to do what you don’t want to do.

 

Don’t sacrifice anything

 

Ask for help if you are feeling overwhelmed

bad-wedding-advice

 

Enjoy being engaged for as long as possible before launching into full planning mode. Have a good vision at the start before using sites like Pinterest otherwise you are likely to be overwhelmed and having a mishmash day vs a cohesive one.

 

Do what you want and what’s going to make you happy.

 

If you’re planning for a year + away, I know it’s exciting, but don’t rush into anything! Some decisions you can’t take back when you wish you could. Don’t rush the process.

 

Don’t stress. Enjoy the moment

 

Enjoy it and don’t hung up on the small things

 

Chill out, don’t micro manage people, just make sure you give good instructions, choose the right people then leave it, they will get the job done well

 

Have you day how you want it.  You only do it once.

 

Just breathe and enjoy every single moment of it… the day goes super fast, and make LOTS of beautiful memories

 

Make choices based on what you want. Not what your Mum wants.

 

Try not to overanalyse, it’s so easy to get caught up in the small details, keep in mind the big picture, it’s about you & your love sharing the celebration with family & friends. Lock in main priorities early then you can potter with planning. Go with your gut & what gives you that yes vibe – this goes for Dress/ Theme/ Celebrant/ Wedding Co-ordinator

 

Make it about your marriage, not pleasing others.

 

Just enjoy the process don’t get wound up about things, at the end of the day you are marrying the person you love.

 

I felt a bit rushed by everyone who were just so excited for us and the big day. We set a rough date to get married in a year but then i felt so pressured that it turned into a chore that I kept putting off. I’m only getting married once, I want it to be right and not just a party for others so we’ve put it off for another year and I feel so much better about it. So don’t rush it!!

Further reading

If you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed, and you’d like some concrete tips, then check out some helpful wedding planning articles below:

Tips for stress-free wedding planning

Wedding Planning Checklist: First Steps

My wedding budget (actual facts and figures!)

Wedding hack for finding awesome wedding vendors

Do any of these tips resonate with you? Do you have any words of wisdom or pieces of advice to add? I’d love to hear them – leave them in the comments!

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