When the bridesmaid is just not that into the wedding…


One of our Southern Brides is having a dilemma! One of her bridesmaids is just not that into the wedding. Our Anonabride has tried, but is now at the point she doesn’t want the bridesmaid in her wedding party. Here’s the question in her own words:

have a bridesmaid that is not interested, doesn’t care and it was a rushed decision when I asked her. I really want to tell her that I don’t want her to be bridesmaid. I want be honest without being really mean. I need your help and advice! Anyone any suggestions on how to approach this?

Find the original post on Southern Bride’s Facebook page here

I put this out to the community for their wise advice, and here’s what was suggested:

Maybe she could just talk the the bridesmaid about it? Chances are if she says “Hey I feel like you’re not really into being a bridesmaid – would you rather just come to the wedding as a guest?” And explains that she really doesn’t mind if she is a bridesmaid or not as long as she’s there, then the girl will either drop the position or she might get into it a little more? – Alex M


You have to say something. If she isn’t interested in helping, she won’t mind you saying you’d rather not have her as a Bridesmaid. If you deliver the news in a diplomatic way you’ll be fine. But this is your big day. You have to say something – Kala F


Turn it around. Ask her what she would like to do, if she can’t come up with anything you can have the opportunity to ask if anything is worrying her, give her the out card, she will either step it up or graciously step down – Terri E


Honesty is always the best policy. Have a chat with her. It may be she’s not that into it, or maybe she’s not that sure what your expectations are for her as a bridesmaid are. – Angela P


Ooh that’s a tough one, maybe like Angela said she may not know what being a bridesmaid entitles? I would sit her down and have a talk to her, ask her if she wants to be in the bridal party, if not its OK with you. You need all the support from the people you have chosen or it will just put a downer on your whole wedding planning, and on the day and then it may ruin a friendship. Just be upfront however hard it will be. Good luck! – Stacey S


Be honest. Tell her how you feel and give her an out. You want someone that wants to be there! I had a similar experience also. Being a bridesmaid is an honour. i would be thrilled to be asked! Good luck x – Andrea R


Be honest – tell her straight up! No point mucking around! – Hayley M


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