50 + Funny Wedding Vows – Ideas and Tips

Weddings are all about love and joy, and what better way to express the joy of this occasion than through laughter? After all, laughter is an international language that brings people together!

Traditional wedding vows are serious and romantic, reflecting the solemnity of your lifelong commitment. However, modern couples increasingly opt for personalized wedding vows that reflect their relationship. If your bond is marked by laughter and shared jokes then funny wedding vows could be a perfect choice. Not only do they make your vows more personal and unique, but they also help ease the nerves.

Tips for Writing Funniest Wedding Vows

Creating funny wedding vows is an art in itself. You want to make people laugh, but at the same time, you don’t want to detract from the significance of your promises. Here are a few tips to get you started:

1. Be Authentic: The best comedy comes from truth. Reflect on your relationship and think about the quirks, habits, or shared experiences that you can turn into a funny line or anecdote.

2. Keep It Balanced: While humor is key, remember you’re still committing lifelong. Aim for a balance between humor and sentimentality, and include sincere promises alongside the funny ones.

3. Make It Personal: Your wedding vows should reflect you as a couple. Include inside jokes or humorous references that are unique to your relationship.

4. Practice Ahead: Timing and delivery are essential in comedy. Rehearse your vows to get a feel for the comedic timing.

5. Stay Respectful: Remember, your vows should be fun and light-hearted, but not at the expense of your partner’s feelings or dignity.

Our list of the best funny wedding vows

To give you a head start, here are a few examples of humorous wedding vows

  • “I promise to love, honor, and cherish you, and always let you hold the remote control. I will laugh with you during comedies and pretend I’m not crying during romcoms. This is my solemn vow.”
  • “I vow to always protect you from spiders, as long as we both shall live. And in return, I ask that you kill any and all cockroaches.”
  • “I promise to be your loving husband/wife, to let you win at Monopoly, and to not keep score… even when I’m totally winning.”
  • “I, [your name], take you, [partner’s name], to be my wife/husband. I vow to accidentally use your toothbrush less than three times a month and to replace the toilet roll when it’s empty.”
  • “I promise to laugh at your jokes, even when they are not funny. I vow to comfort you during football season and to always share my dessert with you… or at least let you have a bite.”
  • I vow to hold your hand when we cross the street, to cook for you except on days when the game is on, and to always make sure the house is stocked with your favorite snacks.”
  • “I promise to be your rock, your safe haven, and your annoying coworker when we both work from home. That includes stealing your pens and accidentally microwaving fish.”
  • “I vow to love you as much as I love my pet, (insert pet’s name), and to treat you with as much attention and care. But unlike (insert pet’s name), I promise not to make you sleep at the foot of the bed.”

More funny Wedding Vow Ideas

  • “On this wedding day, I promise to stand by you, even when you’re wrong, which, let’s be honest, is most of the time. Because that’s what true love is.”
  • “I promise to stand by you, even when you make coffee that tastes like burnt rubber. In return, you promise to let me handle the coffee making, as a public service.”
  • “I vow to love you even when you’re 90 and still playing video games like a pair of penguins, one holding the joystick and the other one yelling directions.”
  • “I promise to nurture your dreams because, through them, your soul shines. I promise to help shoulder our challenges because through them we’ll emerge stronger. And when you leave the kitchen sink full of dishes, I promise to try to not turn into the Hulk.”
  • “I vow to love you, honor you, and only leave you alone when you’re watching Brad Pitt movies, out of respect for our mutual jealousy.”
  • “I vow to never steal the covers unless you’re hogging them. And then, all bets are off.”
  • “On our wedding anniversary, every year, I vow to look you in the eyes as I’ve done today and remind you how stunningly beautiful you are… Even when you wear that face mask that makes you look like the abominable snowman.”

A little laughter

  • “I love you more than I love hitting the snooze button on Monday mornings. More than a perfect cup of coffee on a cold day or the feeling of sliding into clean sheets after a long day. More than the smell of rain on a hot summer afternoon. I love you more than my favorite song, my most comfortable pair of shoes, or even a perfect sunset on the beach. I love you more than all of these things combined, and I vow to continue loving you more every day for the rest of our lives together.”
  • “In front of our friends on this special day, I vow to love you, cherish you, and always replace the toilet paper roll when it’s empty. This, I solemnly swear.”
  • “I vow to listen to your advice and occasionally take it. I vow to tell you when you have spinach in your teeth.
  • “I promise to unclog the tub, even though you are the only one with long hair.
  • “I love you even when you won’t let me watch football and even when you steal the best part of my dinner when I’m not looking.”
  • “I promise to love you even during the bad hair days and those rare occasions when you attempt magic tricks at parties.”
  • “My love, on this big day, I vow to be your spell checker, your chief tennis doubles partner, grammar friend, and Netflix series companion. Let’s start with a Gilmore Girls marathon!”
  • “I vow to be your ultimate fighter during the zombie apocalypse. And yes, I swear not to use you as bait.”
  • “I pledge to always tell you the truth even when it’s hard and to keep all my online shopping below our set budget. Except during the sale season.”
  • “I vow to always keep our lives exciting, adventurous, and full of passion. However, adventure doesn’t include putting pineapple on our pizza. That’s a no-go.”

And a few more

  • “I promise to love you during good times, bad times, long commutes, and even longer sessions of video games. Yes, even when you beat me every single time.”
  • “I vow to take care of the vet visits, never to use your credit card for my new clothes, and always laugh at your most ridiculous things, even if they’re not funny.”
  • “On this rare occasion when all our friends gather in one place, I promise always to respect your choice of music. Even when we’re on road trips and you play musical cats on repeat. I might invest in earplugs, but I’ll still respect your choice.”
  • “My love and best friend, I vow to stick by you even when you can’t remember the next episode we’re on in our Netflix series or when you constantly forget to put down the toilet seat.”
  • “I always vow to appreciate your signature cocktails. Even when it’s more cocktail umbrella than actual drink, or when you forget that a ‘pinch’ of salt doesn’t mean the whole shaker. I promise to sip, smile, and secretly keep a stash of beer in the fridge for emergencies.”
  • “I vow to laugh with you in good times and to solace you when you’re downhearted, to keep your favorite beer in the fridge, and to never ever use your prized football jersey as a kitchen rag.”
  • “I promise to tolerate your ice-cold feet, and if you promise to warm them up before you touch me with them. I will love you endlessly, but cold toes are where I draw the line.”
  • “I vow to be the Bonnie to your Clyde, the Ross to your Rachel, the popcorn to your movie nights, and the one who changes the toilet paper roll when it’s empty. Because that’s true love.”
  • “I promise to laugh at all of your jokes, no matter how bad they are. That being said, I do not expect the same from you, and understand if you don’t laugh at my brilliant puns.”
  • “I vow to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed, and to share in the silence when they are not, and to pick up your dry cleaning even when you’ve forgotten for the third time this week.”
  • “I pledge to always admire your huge, strong, kind and determined heart. I also pledge to always protect you from spiders, as long as we both shall live.”
  • “I promise not only to grow old together but to grow together. I will try my best to age gracefully in body and spirit, but apologize in advance for future dentures and surprising hairs that sprout in unexpected places.”
  • “In health and sickness, and in health again because we both know you’re a big baby when you’re sick, I’ll be there for you. I promise to nurse you back to health, even at the risk of getting sick myself.”

Love to laugh

  • “I promise to respect, admire and appreciate you for who you are, as well as for the person you wish to become. I also promise not to eat the last piece of pizza without asking you first.”
  • “I promise to keep my vow of sharing my life with you on one condition – you always let me have control of the TV remote on game nights.”
  • “I vow to be your partner in all things, not possessing you, but working with you as a part of the whole. Unless there are chores, then I possess you fully.”
  • “I promise to always remember that laughter is life’s sweetest creation, and will never stop making ‘dad jokes’, no matter how much you roll your eyes.”
  • “I vow to be there for you when you need me, whenever you need me. I promise not to keep score, even if I’m totally winning.”
  • “I promise to love you even when you leave damp towels on the bed, and to laugh at your quirky little habits, like how you can’t help but dance when you brush your teeth.”
  • “I pledge to always defend you to others, even though you are a heavy snorer and sometimes drool in your sleep. I’ll simply say that you’re whispering sweet nothings in your sleep and hydrating your pillow.”
  • “I vow to be your love and your best friend, to appreciate you every day, and to respectfully disagree on the best method to load the dishwasher.”
  • “I promise to always remember that our love story is my favorite, even more than any romance novel or reality TV show. Yes, even more than ‘The Bachelor.'”
  • “I promise to not take score… unless we’re playing board games. Then, all bets are off.”
  • “I vow to give you the best of myself, and to ask no more than you can give. I also vow to let you pick the Netflix shows we watch some of the time.”
  • “I pledge to you a lifetime of love as enduring as my love for Friday night takeout, knowing that in each other, we’ve found our favorite person in the world, and the tastiest ramen.”

Related reading

By crafting your own funny vows, you bring a bit of humor into a traditionally solemn occasion, providing a good laugh for all and making your ceremony unforgettable.

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