A Kiwi’s DIY Guide to Writing Wedding Vows

Getting married is a huge thing. But if that wasn’t enough, your celebrant or fiancé has asked you about writing wedding vows! Help, what do you do now? First up, relax because writing wedding vows isn’t that scary. It’s time consuming and requires a lot of thought, but it’s not impossible. I’ve heard many wonderful variations of wedding vows, but the ones I love the most have come straight from the heart.

Writing Wedding Vows Which Come from Your Heart

Whether you are writing your own vows or together as a couple, one of the hardest places is deciding where to start. I’m going to walk you through how to create beautifully personalised wedding vows which will make people cry. Except you and your fiancé of course!

  1. Decide how you want to write your vows

Are you going to do them on your own and surprise each other at the altar? Or do you want to work together to create them? Once you have made this choice, then it gets much easier, I promise.

  1. Chat with your marriage celebrant

There are certain vows which are required by law which your celebrant will tell you about. Other than that, they will also be able to help you with a structure for your ceremony. Celebrants are gold mines of information about wedding vows, so don’t be afraid to ask for help!

  1. Do some wedding vow spying

The internet is ablaze with wedding vow examples. Hit the keyboard and start reading the vows of other couples. At this stage, cut and pasting from their vows into your ones is fine. It’s all about the idea gathering and learning about the types of vows you can write.

  1. Start writing your vows early

Pulling a late night may have worked in the past for some things, but this is your wedding we are talking about! It is best to start working on your vows around the same time as you book your celebrant. That way you can make sure they will be ready and perfect for your big day.

  1. Write from your heart

Nobody knows your fiancé better than you, but getting those words out from your heart onto paper can be tricky. Questions to ask yourself which might help are:

  • Why do you love your fiancé?
  • What is your favourite quirk of theirs?
  • What attracted you to them?
  • When did you know they were the one for you?
  • How do they show you that they love you? 

Once you have written your vows, practise reading them aloud to each other, your celebrant and even the cat! Remember they need to sound right for both of you, so if they are not, keep revising them until you love them.


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